A few years ago I would have cringed at the word ‘hot’, as it brought, in my opinion, a certain air of disrespect or familiarity or blatant sexuality that I didn’t care for. It made me feel uncomfortable to hear kids referring to the opposite sex in this manner, and I warned my kids to not say it. But, as I have become fully immersed in the world of teen-dome (three kids aged 12, 14, 17), and slowly desensitized to terminology that comes with it, I guess I’ve allowed myself to open up to this word and to others to a certain extent. Perhaps I was being a prude before? Perhaps I didn’t know the kids who were using the language as much as I know my own kids and their friends? Like other youthful vocabulary through the ages, the word says what it says with no pretense. Although it’s still not used commonplace in our family, I like the rawness of it, the honesty.
That’s why I think ‘hot’ is a perfect way to describe my husband, Bob!
Sure, there’s the obvious superficial outwardly sexy part of him that makes him hot. He’s fashionable, trendy and good looking, he’s up to speed on current events and politics, he’s always the visionary and creative thinker that never grows tired of dreaming of a future that is brighter, better, bigger than life as it is. And he’s a hard worker, never a slacker, growing a business from nothing with integrity and talent. He’s funny, bright, charismatic, a true leader who has honed his ability to work well with teams, be it board members or staff or volunteers. He is driven. He is honest.
He never stops asking questions, naturally inquisitive. He loves to talk. He is interesting to listen to, and a great story teller.
My husband loves God, his church and his family. And he’s not afraid to tell anyone that. His faith is active and alive and visionary and even in this, always asking questions… which is refreshing in a sometimes stale Christianity. My hubby keeps me honest and on the straight and narrow.
But what makes my husband hot is the fact that he is faithful. Including the 2 years we dated, my husband has been faithful to me and to our marriage for 25 years. I trust him whole heartedly because he is trust worthy. He has proved that over and over again. With all the junk coming at him from the media, and everything else that bombards him on a daily basis, still he comes home to me. He loves me. He chooses me. Even when I don’t deserve it!
I admit that I often allow life and the kids to get in the way of our marriage. I forget that the kids will go and even friends might move away and life will change. The constant in it all is Bob. I can’t afford to take him for granted, now can I?
I just attended my Uncle Dave’s funeral in Orlando, Florida last week. He was 70 years old, and married to my Aunt Betty Lou for 48 years. They had no children, so she was his world and vice-versa. Their life together was a love story, although she admits they’ve had ups and downs too. She showed me the valentine’s bear he gave her… his very last gift to her. He adored her. He prioritized her. He took care of her needs. And she basked in the glory of his love. He was hot to her. I’m certain of that.
My Aunt shared some marital wisdom with me as we cried and talked together late one night. She told me to never stop taking time to look into Bob’s eyes. She looked into my eyes as she said that… and she was very serious.
So, for the past week my hubby and I have been dating, going to a neighbourhood cafe for wine and Jazz, out for dinner to celebrate our 23rd anniversary, spontaneously calling and texting each other during the day. And we’ve gone for walks with the dog, and we’ve looked into each others eyes. And the fire is still there.
I can feel a shift happening within me as I see some areas where I need to make adjustments to how I’ve been lacking in love. I’m thankful for the chance to make change. I’m thankful for my hot husband.