Possible, probable, or mystery?


DSC_0184I received a letter today after receiving a phone message from a stranger. She told me that she had a letter addressed to me from an address I last lived at in 1999. The woman now owns and rents out the cute old house we used to live in, and the letter…the letter…

I went by her house today and picked up the letter. She told me beforehand that she had opened it, by mistake, was just busy and didn’t read the name before tearing into it. She apologized. The letter was taped closed.

I went back out to the car, looked at the airmail envelope and the value of the stamp and noticed no return address. I thought how it’s been some time since postage in Canada was 43 cents. I drove away, pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store, and opened the letter.

Two pages, typewritten, and hand signed. I read the words slowly. I read them again, noting the telltale signs of time of writing. “seeing photos of you and Bob and your wee lad” and “He has given you one of the greatest of all blessings, a dear wee son…” and further on “God bless you – all three”. We are “five” now and have been a family of five since 1996 when our second son was born.

Just now I google stamps in Canada 1996 and see…45 cents

And a little more digging around and I see the stamp…issued for 43 cents, December 30, 1992.

The letter is dated June 15, without a year noted. But our wee son was born in May, 1993, so it could be from June 1993, or a stamp saved and used in June 1994, or June 1995…because by June 1996, we were a family of four.

Could this letter have been in transit for 20 plus years? Is this even possible?

Could I have received the letter while still living at the old house and left it behind when we moved? I can’t recall having read it before, but sometimes I have trouble recalling my PIN! Probable, I suppose, but why would multiple owners of the old house, and multiple tenants save this letter over and over again rather than recycling it?

What am I to think? What does it mean?

An old family friend, a mentor all those years ago, the writer of the letter is long passed from my life and from this world. I wonder how many years he has been gone now? I text my brothers and ask them.

What is it he had to say over 2 decades ago that I am to pay attention to now?

And so I will sit with the letter, and ponder the question… what is it God, that you would have me see?

And at the same time, shivers that this is happening…and the memories of that time…the people…a reminder of someone good, kind, and gentle who took the time to write a letter.

This is just a wee note to renew acquaintances, for I so well remember you…

Sincerely, in Him,

Alan

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Fence sitting…


It’s been 5 weeks of intermittent chaos in our home.

Emmy (our new adoptee 2-1/2 yr. old German Shorthaired Pointer) is making a huge impact on us, on our lawn, on our things, on our sleep, energy, patience. It’s stressful. It’s unclear what to do.

I bounce back and forth. I’ve met with dog trainers. I’ve tried many ways to make the transition more bearable. Talked about it from both sides. And I’m still wondering daily if this is the right dog for us? I’m wavering like a drunken sailor on shore leave.

A good friend, wise counsel for me in many areas of my life, suggested determining my motivation for keeping or not keeping the dog. She says it doesn’t matter the details of how we make it work, but the foundation of why we want the dog is all that matters. If the decision is built upon a good foundation, then the outcome will be good. Ok, I said, I’ll do that… I’ll look at my motivations. That’s easier said than done, I recognize as I begin to write things down. A pros and cons list is much easier because it’s about the dog, rather than about my inner workings and what drives me to do or not do certain things. So I’ll share the easy list with you now, and (maybe) my motivations at another time. When my head is less foggy and my resolve to be transparent is stronger. And maybe when I finally have the courage to decide instead of sitting on the fence where the view of both sides is equally difficult, or wonderful, depending upon the moment!

So, here’s MY LIST;

Pros of dog ownership~

Having a dog expands the concept of family to something ‘more’

Dogs share unconditional love, adoration, unmatched in any other relationship

Companionship – never alone (someone to talk to rather than talking to yourself which can be a problem to some people me)

Mental health benefits (see above)

Feeling of guardianship over the family – no need for an alarm system or a door bell

Teach all of us empathy, mercy, kindness

Children love petting dogs, cuddling dogs, sleeping with dogs, talking to dogs, the idea of having dogs

Husbands can also love dogs if the list of pros is longer than the list of cons

Training dogs is also a lesson in self-discipline

Cons of dog ownership~

Messes – Spotted lawns, dug up planting beds, dirty paw prints on carpets, pet hair on clothes (and Emmy doesn’t appear to know how to eat or drink without slopping both food and water quite a distance from her dishes)

Endless walking and biking when I don’t really feel like it

Strict training regime –  repeatedly saying, ‘No, ______, no, No, NO!!!

Mistakes – Chewed couches, pee stains on carpets, tent walls chewed through

Lack of freedom and being spontaneous

Cost of care

Cost of kenneling to allow for being spontaneous

Weight of responsibility

Yard cleanup never shared by other family members because at the end of the day the dog is always ‘my dog’

Anyhoo, that’s my list at the moment which appears to be pretty equally weighted on both sides. As I write Emmy is upstairs sleeping in Claire’s room, until I go get her and bring her to our room where she will hop up onto our bed and cuddle until morning, when she stretches, and yawns and kisses me, and then I’ll let her out and give her breakfast and we’ll start another day together again. For now, anyway! And by the looks of it, probably for a long long time.

Signing off for now,

Lesley-Anne