Birthday Gifts

What is filling my soul this morning, the anniversary of my birth, so long ago;

Well, finding this silly picture that makes me look like a birthday fairy queen, I guess…

And this…grounding me, confirming I know nothing, but…

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux: 1999), 79.

And this;

1. relationships that continue to ask of me…and give to me…and the beauty of discovery within the complexity of life with people, these gifts that I will never truly understand and yet there they are, talking, breathing, working, living alongside me and I get to be with them all…
2. anticipating the arrival of my son, and the intersection of 5 lives over several days…oh the anticipation of all that…
3. a unexpectedly delicious poem, written by my lover, posted to Facebook.
4. the dog, coffee, porch, quiet, sunshine, bluebird day, time, space, lingering…
5. messages of love on social media
6. challenges and considerations…each day to choose what is important, what is vital, what is life giving, and what adjustments must be made to live with integrity
7. creative energy…that vast stream of Creator God’s creative DNA that flows and overflows in me with thoughts and ideas and possibilities and just enough courage to try something new…
8. health, dreams, desires, all those elements that make up a life and are often taken for granted and yet are foundational to living well…
9. writing, always writing, listening to the inner voice speaking and writing, playing with writing, writing with people, reading and writing, writing, writing, writing…
10. the audacious pink thread of The Trinity woven through the simple fabric of my life …often hidden, sometimes apparent, but there…oh yes, there!

Gift. Gift. Gift. All gift.

Undeserved. Thankful. Gifts held with the knowledge that this may be for a day, a month, a few more years. Breath held for a few seconds, then breathing, breathing, wondering…what happens next?

Lesley-Anne Evans, July 29, 1962 – ?

 

 

 

I promised not to preach…

Good morning friends.

Thanks to everyone who reads and comments and honours me with your time spent at Buddy Breathing. I do appreciate that you choose to be here, because I know that your time is precious. I want to offer you something good and worthwhile. And I’m convinced that the only worthwhile thing I can offer you is Jesus.

Yes, I promised not to preach, and you can call this preaching if you like. But, I’m just being gut honest here. I have nothing else worthwhile for you. I’ve learned that to be less than open about who I am and what I believe is, well, less than honest. And I don’t want to be a liar.

You see, when I named this blog ‘Buddy Breathing’, there was a byline that went with that… and it was …‘a blog about hope’. For some reason, the current design of this blog does not allow for my byline, and it’s been dropped, but now I need to get back to that original design. It’s the reason why I’m blogging in the first place.

If you have read ‘About the Blogger’, you will know the background of the name ‘Buddy Breathing’. It’s about sharing oxygen… words filled with the spiritual oxygen of hope that can be yours through a relationship with God the Father and his son Jesus.  That’s it! Nothing more. Nothing less. Whether I blog a story, or a poem or prose, or a photograph, or a commentary, or a video, the bottom line for me is that in that, I point you to the God of Hope.

That doesn’t mean I have it all together, that doesn’t mean that I have all the answers, that doesn’t mean that I go through life with a halo on, or with a supernatural ability to turn every cloud inside out to it’s silver lining. My life and my circumstances and my past and my future are filled with good and bad, challenges and victories, troubles and turmoil and triumphs. I’m just a regular, ordinary, middle aged wife and mother who happens to rest everything on the fact that I have a God who is in charge of it all, has the future all figured out, and continues to help me make it through from day to day. Sometimes those days are dark, and sometimes they are filled with light. God is here with me.

I might have lost some of you right there, but if not then I’m really happy about that. Because I say all this knowing it might stir things up, might offend some, and might cause others to leave Buddy Breathing. Still, with God as my guide, what I say might also impact you, or change your life, or just plant a little seed or a question or something that will provoke you to think about things for the very first time. That excites me. That keeps me keeping on.

It’s Holy week… and I’m not. Yet, I trust that whatever is coming next in my life, I will be able to live it and to express it because I have a God of Hope who is with me and for me.

I’m willing to expose all of it for your consideration. I’m ready to give an answer for the hope I have.

Walking on,

Lesley-Anne