I used to be a blogger…

There was a time when I blogged on a regular basis, saw lots of people drop into my blogs, linked my blog from my facebook page, and utilized the social networks I am part of to spread Buddy Breathing as wide as I could. And now, well, now Facebook has made some changes, and I’m no longer visible to all my ‘friends’ unless they choose to make me visible. And, I’m just not in a place where I want to ‘work’ my blog, spend hours making connections with people on their blogs, commenting on their writing which means reading their writing so that I can comment intelligently on it… I’m just not able to prioritize it right now. So. maybe it’s time for a little holiday from blogging… a bit of a break…

Another issue that’s come up recently is that whenever I share a piece of my poetry here, or anywhere else online, it’s considered ‘published’. That’s rather annoying to me, as much as I want to share my words openly, I don’t want posting my work here to undermine or prevent my ability to enter competitions, or even submit said work for publishing in the more traditional sense. So, the thrill I’ve had for the past 40 Poetry Fridays is somewhat muted by this fact.  Again I wonder, is it time to take a little hiatus from the blog?

I’m somewhat undecided, sitting on the fence, really. Processing, listening for some clearer direction, inspiration, or maybe just a new way.

So, I write about the Top (10) reasons why blogs fail… and wonder if mine is failing, or if I am?

My brother and his wife are currently blogging their trip to Iceland… lots of beautiful photographs, little bits of words, and it works. It’s interesting, fresh every day. Maybe I’m just tired, or distracted?

I am fairly certain that I need to re-purpose this blog… refocus my efforts. I hope you will stand by while I do that. But, if not, then thank you for all your visits (all 7676 of them). You’ve inspired me thus far, you really have.

For now… “adieu“. For how long… I don’t know yet. But I will be back some day.

Keep smiling… keep believing in the hope you have… keep on keeping on. Soli deo gloria!

Lesley-Anne

p.s. if you want to keep in touch, just drop in and leave me a comment… or, find me on facebook. Either one works for me!

Sunday Soliloquy

Image via Wikipedia

Lou Gehrig – Farewell to Baseball Address

Delivered on 4 July 1939, New York

Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about a bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.

I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans. Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day?

Sure I’m lucky.

Who wouldn’t consider it an honor to have known Jacob Ruppert? Also, the builder of baseball’s greatest empire, Ed Barrow? To have spent six years with that wonderful little fellow, Miller Huggins? Then to have spent the next nine years with that outstanding leader, that smart student of psychology, the best manager in baseball today, Joe McCarthy?

Sure I’m lucky.

When the New York Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift – that’s something. When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies — that’s something.

When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter — that’s something.

When you have a father and a mother who work all their lives so you can have an education and build your body — it’s a blessing.

When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed — that’s the finest I know.

So, I close in saying that I might have been given a bad break, but I’ve got an awful lot to live for.

Tending to things…

I wonder why it’s so easy to find fault with others and so hard to recognize faults in myself? I wonder why I am so endowed with a judging attitude and yet come up short in grace and mercy? Why do I do the things I don’t want to do, and not do the things I want to do? (an ancient question that hits the nail on my head today) I wonder…

I also find that having perspective for someone else is easier than for myself… I can look at the tapestry of someones life and say, “Aha, look at that, un-be-lieve-able!!!” and, “I can’t believe he said that!” and, “What was she thinking?” rather than to look at my own unattractive pattern of slipped and broken stitches, and take responsibility for being the one who made the mess, even do the hard work of beginning over to make it right.

Sometimes God has a way of jamming some perspective down my throat, and though I cough and choke and try to spit it back up, it’s the very thing I need to swallow, digest, and make a regular part of my diet. For me, perspective is always easier looking back that looking forward, but I’d like to have visionary perspective more often. A casual porch conversation with my hubby last night led him to voice an innocent enough comment, “Well, she was tending to things.” And just as I was about to launch into a commentary rant on why this particular person was tending to what was unimportant, why she should have done this or could have done that, suddenly, like a smack in the side of my conscience I thought, “Hang on a second… what am I tending to instead of ________ (whatever, you fill in the blank)?” It was like God tapped me on the shoulder and said, “You—follow me.”

One lusty, rugged fisherman called Peter once asked Jesus about details on another disciples life… right after Jesus had given him some very specific direction for his own life. Peter turns and looks at this other disciple and basically says, “Yeah, but, what’s going to happen to him, Jesus?” Jesus looked at Peter and says, “If I want him to live until I come again, what’s that to you? You—follow me.” (John 21:22 MSG) Oh drat… again I see that I need to get introspective and personal, rather than engage in the impersonal and nasty fun pursuit of bantering about other people’s shortfalls… Jesus asks me to look inward at myself and then upward to him… stop with the comparing game, and deal with the areas of my life where I may be lacking in ______________(whatever, you fill in the blank).

I remember reading this verse once about being a follower of Jesus, and becoming ‘slaves to righteousness’ and that really bugged me at first because it sounded, well, like slaves… prisoners, tied down, out of control etc. etc. Now I see that RIGHTEOUSNESS is a good thing to seek after, to be bound to, because it can save me from so much unrighteous stuff that is bad for me, bad for my character, bad for the people I live among. In the words of Bob Dylan,

“But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed, You’re gonna have to serve somebody, Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord, But you’re gonna have to serve somebody.”

And I’d rather serve God and tend to his things, than tend to drugs, alcohol, materialism, jealousy, pride, self-righteousness, hate, greed, _______________ (whatever, you fill in the blank).

I get this picture in my mind of tending a vegetable garden… you know, the way one would carefully prepare the soil, till it for seeding, plant the seeds, water them, pull out the weeks, thin the seedlings, fertilize, water, watch and then, suddenly… fruit begins to appear on the plants and before long it’s harvest time. That type of tending to produces tasty results. I’d like a life like that.

So, that brings me back to the place where I’m feeling this pull to look at what I’m tending to and not tending to, and without disclosing my whole messy life, let’s just say I’m reminded that I need to keep a constant eye on what I choose to tend to… daily, almost hourly… to reel myself in, to ask God to help me to make the best use of my time here, to tend to the flesh and blood humans that he has placed me into relationship with rather than the tasks, or the time wasting activities I sometimes serve. Doing things Gods way means I need to focus on my own shortcomings, not theirs, and then, tripping and stumbling and getting back up again, to follow him.

Photo image taken from Telegraph.co.uk

New sight

A few thoughts on ‘seeing’, inspired by my son Malcolm’s new glasses;

Malcolm’s been having headaches for over a year, and immediately we visited the MD, and the Optometrist and had his eyes tested. They were fine a year ago, but when we returned for his annual eye exam, his eyes had changed. Our friend and optometrist Dave Grimes said, “Malcolm, you need glasses.” We were surprised, Malcolm especially, because he didn’t know he needed them. He had no idea that what he saw when he looked around his world was not as it should be.

I’ve been thinking on the things that says to me, and thought I’d share those thoughts with you today;

• We sometimes don’t know our vision is blurred… Malcolm put on his new glasses and immediately said, “Wow, I can’t believe that it was that bad… now I can see details in things that I didn’t know were missing.” My son Graeme said, “But, I thought you’d know if you couldn’t see.” “Nope,” said Malcolm, “I had no idea.” Wow!

• To see means to lift your eyes from the ground or the path and look up at what surrounds you… THAT is perspective. One might have to step back a little to see the big picture, and on a regular basis. I suggest that taking time out for a mountain top view is best. For me that means a time away from everything, and a time to connect with the one with the grand vision… God.

• To continue to see properly, one has to clean one’s glasses. Malcolm does this regularly because he now knows the difference between seeing and not seeing and values his new sight. Daily cleaning is required.

• To see properly can mean the end of headaches, fatigue, frustration…Malcolm’s glasses mean no more Extra Strength Tylenol. I don’t know about you, but I can do without some of those things in my life too.

• Each person sees differently and sees different things… we are blessed by living in relationships with others that help focus our sight by sharing theirs… spouses, families, friends, work associates, faith communities can all do this for us.

• Sometimes we need to be reminded to ‘look’ because we’re human, we get our heads down and work away and forget about the beautiful view. I’m amazed at the number of verses in the Bible that say, “Look and see”, or “Lift up your head”. I need reminding. Even with glasses on, Malcolm still needs to look up.

• Often what I want is to see everything. Who do I think I am… God? Seeing in the moment is really all I can ask for. God sees the rest and takes care of it. He promised he would and he does. I need to believe that to the best of my ability.

• The message on the eye chart to the left says… (can you see it?)… “You can rarely see what is right under your nose.” but I disagree.We have a choice in this… it is within our grasp to change our vision, see clearly, look up, and see amazing things. Can you see it? I catch glimpses and find myself craving more. And the more I focus on God, the better I feel I see. That’s me… what about you?

On the path, trying to keep my eyes on the view,

Lesley-Anne