What the heck


FYI: Rant ahead…

Peculiar, I think, the lack of (or my perception of the lack of) social media engagement around our son joining the Royal Canadian Air Force. Both B and I are standing back in amazement, actually, as close family members like and love and even repost the announcement and NOT ONE of our friends or vast community of connections SAYS ANYTHING. OK, is this a touchy subject?

And, if our other son continues in his area of passion and follows his heart and intellect right into the RCMP, and we announce that with love and excitement (and yes fear and trembling) will we be met with like SILENCE?

It’s not that we need approval. It’s not that we need much at all. But if these friends of ours, these hundreds of connections of ours, care just a wee tiny bit about us, about our family, and know anything at all about the vast wilderness of parenting that includes directionless kids, confused kids, depressed kids, kids that are kids and yet adults, kids that move away and come back, kids that love you and reject you as they are becoming themselves, then surely they know what a BIG DEAL it is when your kid finds their thing, aside from all the fear and trembling and wondering at what that thing is, and just FOLLOW THEIR HEART into SOMETHING BEYOND THEMSELVES.

You don’t have to sign a petition, agree to a set of statements, promise anything at all. You aren’t saying yes to war, or rumours of war. Really, you aren’t!  You are just being a supportive and loving friend to us. To me.

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Surely this matters? Do I hear an amen?

Or, is it like everything else these days, everything is polarized, under tension, fraught with fear of taking a stance or offending the easily offended. So much so that even liking something may give someone the idea that this inherently means you are agreeing with a philosophy or a world view or something gigantic, when all you are really doing is LIKING your friend’s happiness, joy, sense of relief that their kid is becoming something new. Right?

I don’t know, maybe, like always, I’m just looking for the meaning beyond the matter. I’m wondering WHY?

And I just do, I do feel, like the rest of you maybe also feel, a twinge of hurt, when others are silent.

My son has signed up, signed on, agreed to some pretty heavy stuff that falls under that heading of the greater good. He’s heading to boot camp in less than 2 weeks. And I’m just processing all this as a mom (seasoned with a big dose of mama bear!!). I’ll be processing it for at least the next 5 years, maybe more, because with his decision we become “Military Family”. So your support matters to me, perhaps more than it should. I’m hearing the silence speak, perhaps where it isn’t saying anything at all. Yet more edges on me that require some honing!

As my grandfather used to say, it’s a great life if you don’t weaken!

Sigh…rant done…

LAE

 

 

5 Comments

  1. Leslie Anne I think we are all in the same position, whether it’s about our children, aging parent or sick family members. Maybe other people are giving us our space or privacy, or they have enough trouble on there own that they are also dealing with in silence because to ask for support is admitting weakness or failure . You should rightly be proud of your kids. I have two family members in the military and there have been four in the RCMP. Each is a choice that requires a great deal of bravery and trust. Good for them. We need them. Miss you at studio but I hear you are doing well at metro. Come visit sometimes.

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    1. I hear you, Maureen. I just find the whole isolation thing so…isolating! Can we not invite others to share their stuff, pain, good, not so we can fix it, just so they know someone is listening. (I could do WAY better at this, for sure.) But when I become so immersed in my own pain that I cannot celebrate another’s life…I need to check myself, yeah. Maybe that’s the issue with social media…it’s not real community. And suddenly I recall I stayed home on Tuesday evening! Reality check! xo Going to pop in tomorrow morning for a little visit xo

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  2. Onward, I say!

    There are things worth fighting for. Tell him to remember them – his things worth fighting for – you’re his Mum, you’re allowed to.

    Then follow him wherever he goes. You have to. You’re his Mum.

    Be proud.

    Be military matriarch.

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