After a little more thought…


I’ve been putting pen to real paper since I last posted, trying to determine the best course of action, what I’m actually going to do, and why.  Well, more like the W-5 of it all, and that’s not easy. I’ve discovered that I have some motives that might be working at cross purposes… some altruistic, while others seem a little self serving. But that too is just my perspective on things.

I want my motives to be pure… and for the better good, Godly. At the same time, I have some pretty strong desires and dreams stirring around inside me that are pointing me in certain directions and seem pretty personal.  And I’m not entirely sure how this can all co-exist. Always looking for the one right answer that isn’t necessarily there. Rather than stepping out into something and testing it… maybe failing, maybe not, but even that isn’t wrong. To try and fail is better than never trying at all… you know what they say…

There are at least three different courses of action that I’m thinking about, both in a sequential way, or simultaneously.

There’s a fundraising component,

there’s a publishing component, and last but not least

there’s a service component.

I’d like to think that of these components equally own 33% of my heart, but I’m not altogether certain. I’d like to think that I can be patient and wait for one or even two of these areas while pursuing the other, but what if I need the inspiration of all of them to energize and sustain me. And, I’d like to think that I’m doing what God wants me to do, but I have a habit of convincing myself of things on both sides of the map. How do you ever know for sure?

So, what to do?

And another thing… is it possible to do what what I’m passionate about, what I believe is divinely appointed, and be paid for it?  Still wondering…

Lesley-Anne

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